02.02 Sentences

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SENTENCES

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Editing

elephant sculptures

Short is good

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Shortening sentences

Given that sentences are the primary building blocks of documentation, it is important that each of them conveys only one single fact, stated as simply as possible, so that the reader can grasp each item completely before going on to the next.

Shortening sentences

Given that sentences are the primary building blocks of documentation, it is important that each of them conveys only one single fact, stated as simply as possible, so that the reader can grasp each item completely before going on to the next.

Shortening sentences

Given that sentences are the primary building blocks of documentation, it is important that each of them conveys only one single fact, stated as simply as possible, so that the reader can grasp each item completely before going on to the next.

Shortening sentences

Sentences are the primary building blocks of documentation. Each sentence should convey one fact. This fact should be stated as simply as possible. That way, the reader can learn things one at a time.

Shortening sentences

Sentences are the primary building blocks of documentation. Each sentence should convey one fact. This fact should be stated as simply as possible. That way, the reader can learn things one at a time.

Given that sentences are the primary building blocks of documentation, it is important that each of them conveys only one single fact, stated as simply as possible, so that the reader can grasp each item completely before going on to the next.

What’s between the subject and the verb?

The Total Perspective Vortex, which is on the planet Frogstar B, displays a model of the entire universe.

What’s between the subject and the verb?

The Total Perspective Vortex, which is on the planet Frogstar B, displays a model of the entire universe.

What’s between the subject and the verb?

The Total Perspective Vortex, which is on the planet Frogstar B, displays a model of the entire universe.

The Total Perspective Vortex displays a model of the entire universe. The Vortex is on the planet Frogstar B.

Think about which and that

The Total Perspective Vortex, which is on the planet Frogstar B, displays a model of the entire universe.

Think about which and that

The Total Perspective Vortex, which is on the planet Frogstar B, displays a model of the entire universe.

The Total Perspective Vortex that is on the planet Frogstar B displays a model of the entire universe.

Think about which and that

The Total Perspective Vortex, which is on the planet Frogstar B, displays a model of the entire universe.

The Total Perspective Vortex that is on the planet Frogstar B displays a model of the entire universe.

Think about which and that

The Total Perspective Vortex displays a model of the entire universe. The Vortex is on the planet Frogstar B.

The Total Perspective Vortex that is on the planet Frogstar B displays a model of the entire universe.

Cut out phrases

The Arkenstone is on top of the dragon’s hoard under the Lonely Mountain beside the Long Lake.

Cut out phrases

The Arkenstone is on top of the dragon’s hoard under the Lonely Mountain beside the Long Lake.

The Arkenstone is on top of the dragon’s hoard. The hoard lies under the Lonely Mountain. For more information on the route, see the map in Appendix A.

Other improvements

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Write active sentences

The Death Star was destroyed by the Rebellion.

Write active sentences

The Death Star was destroyed by the Rebellion.

The Rebellion destroyed the Death Star.

Clarify references

The tow ship Nostromo encountered a hostile alien on the moon LV-426. It was later destroyed.

Clarify references

The tow ship Nostromo encountered a hostile alien on the moon LV-426. It was later destroyed.

The tow ship Nostromo encountered a hostile alien on the moon LV-426. The ship was later destroyed.

Phrase things positively

Don’t close your eyes unless there are no weeping angels nearby.

Phrase things positively

Don’t close your eyes unless there are no weeping angels nearby.

Keep your eyes open if weeping angels are nearby.

If there are conditions, put them first

Call the police if you know who killed Laura Palmer.

If there are conditions, put them first

Call the police if you know who killed Laura Palmer.

If you’re know who killed Laura Palmer, call the police.

Fin

Line drawing of a fish